How many bloggers are now reflecting on the fate of their New Year’s Resolutions? And how many ADHDers, like me, are already floundering and lamenting their failures—just like every other year?
The cruel, unfulfilled promises of Dry January, Veganuary, that shiny new gym membership, the latest diet, or that “life-changing” app whose nagging reminders you’ve grown to despise.
In our Healthier Habits peer group this month, we shared tales of wobbles with our intentions to Be Organised/Fit/Sorted This Year. There was confusion and muddle with digital passwords and usernames (oh, how we empathised), the running-buddying that began to founder when the buddy couldn’t make it, and the joys of self-assessment and assembling receipts—why didn’t I just keep a running total throughout the year?
Here’s the fundamental problem: Making changes we don’t enjoy, ditching pleasurable (or self-soothing) habits without realistic alternatives, or setting up an impossibly ambitious or rigid new schedule is a recipe for failure. This approach doesn’t work for most people—let alone ADHDers.
So, our advice? Strip it back. Keep it simple.
Forget the self-imposed torture. Forget the impulsive midnight splurges on memberships, apps, magazines, books, or running shoes. Forget trying to meet other people’s expectations, fit in with trends, or mimic that influencer.
Instead, start with you.
Start by reflecting on your core values. Not sure what they are? Here’s one way to figure them out: https://scottjeffrey.com/personal-core-values/
Some Useful Questions to Consider:
Which values (maybe just 2–3) do you most want to live out in your everyday life?
What activities have you genuinely enjoyed in the past?
What time of day do you feel most energised?
Which friend—perhaps with similar values or goals—might support or join you?
Which habit feels doable even when the weather’s awful and you’re completely wiped out?
If all else fails, could you do this thing for just five minutes?
Keep It Small, Gentle, and Fun
1. Make it small. Think of the tiniest step toward your goal. Then make it even smaller. Five-minute morning walk?
2. Make it gentle. Choose something that feels possible, even when you’re sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, or just not in the mood.
3. Make it fun. Build in immediate rewards—maybe a favourite podcast you only listen to while running. Or persuade a friend to join, but have a backup plan if they can’t make it!
And… try something new. Could you and a friend walk and talk through the park with a coffee in a travel cup instead of heading to that pricey café (where cake somehow always ends up on the table)? Could a body-doubling app like Dubbi or Focusmate help?
Remember, change doesn’t have to be perfect or painful—it just has to work for you.
If you need peer support, we’re here for you. Drop us a line any time. Or come along to our next meet-up on 22 February in Edinburgh.
Carol Stobie
Co-Director, Procrastination Station
February 2025