At 62, why do I still find myself racing up the station hill (in heavy walking boots) like a mad thing – cursing that coffee I insisted on making leaving – barely catching the train (to our ADHD meet-up!), collapsing into my seat gasping, sweaty, dishevelled.
Why do I never learn to beware of “just one more thing before I go”? Why not become like the super-organised advance-arrivers who surround me?
True, I couldn’t imagine ending up like some super-anxious early-departure friends of mine who insist on leaving an hour before they really need to. But there’s got to be a third way.
Some facts about ADHDers and time:
- 98% of us struggle with time management.
- We experience time differently from Neurotypicals – it’s often called Time Blindness. We find it very difficult to estimate accurately how much time has gone by or how long a task will really take.
- We process time differently, not really ‘sensing’ it or noticing it passing unless definitely monitoring it, and unaware when it’s time to switch activities without the help of alarms, reminders and the like.
- Our time horizons are shorter than with NTs, and anything “not now” can cease to exist for some of us – hence our frequent cramming-the-night-before-exam craziness, cortisol coursing round us.
- We forget the fact that it takes time to prepare for a task, and to clean up or put things away afterwards. That we need to stop for coffee, a pee or petrol, and need transition time between one activity and the next.
- Plus… things go wrong, we lose track, cram in too many last-minute things (ahem), misplace stuff we need to take, forget things and have to go home for them (that water bottle I ran back for on Saturday), get lost (even with a Satnav, on streets I’ve known forever). These all take time to sort out. Sometimes a lot!
- We’re all different – time blindness affects in varying ways. I observed my coaching clients falling into extremes about this, either massively early for appointments or cutting it way too fine, like me.
- Most of those time management books I spent years collecting don’t work for us ADHDers (like the productivity ones. You know the ones).
So what does help?
Here are our Healthier Habits Peer Group members’ Timely Tips.
- Make time more visible. Old-fashioned wall clocks with hands make us more aware of time passing than digital devices. Similarly, timers that show a coloured ‘pie’ that gradually shrinks to nil are much better for preventing procrastination and keeping us switched on. Try setting it for half an hour and seeing how much you can actually achieve in that time, as opposed to our fantasy! Stick a showerproof one to the bathroom wall – try ‘beating the clock’ with your shower.
2. Digitise! Smartwatches can help, calendar-synchronised and sending ‘ping’ reminders in advance of your next commitment, even helping you track down other devices.
3. Musicalise! Set up a couple of favourite songs (Spotify etc) to get you through your shower or other tasks – you can even line up a third one that you hate (Baby Shark, anyone?), to speed you up in time to prevent it!
4. Alarm yourself! Try an alarm that makes a horrible noise, for similar motivation.
5. Body Doubling with an app like Focusmate, or informally with a friend, can be a great way to achieve lots of work in a short time.
6. Stimulate your brain to get the boring stuff done with games, music, clock challenges, racing a friend to make the bed, get dressed etc.
7. Outsource deadlines! You can even ask your boss to give you an earlier one by which you must check in – a useful workplace accommodation.
8. Set up early! Laying out clothes, bags and other essentials the night before is brilliant.
9. Sequencing tasks sometimes works better than rigid scheduling.
10. Plan backwards! To realise how long recurring tasks really take. In advance (yes!), grab a coffee, sit down and work back honestly from the final event, breaking down the steps, to get more realistic. We wildly underestimate how long it takes, say, to pop to the supermarket – forgetting to allow for the initial cupboard inventory, starting/finding/updating your shopping list, locating bags, possible late buses, misplaced cars (tip: leave it in the same parking zone every time!), needing fuel, traffic jams, getting lost in the aisles, queueing, battling the self-checkout (urgh)… you get the idea. It all takes a lot longer than we imagine – so double the time you think you need.
11. Build in breaks away from the big tasks – we all need it.
12. Schedule it twice – a crucial project can be entered twice on the calendar; a safety measure in case problems arise on the first occasion.
13. Read it first, then percolate! For important work tasks – read through the assignment as soon as you receive it instead of shoving it away till the night before; maybe discuss it with a colleague; break it down into tiny scheduled steps; block out ‘diary time’ on your shared work calendar; allow percolating time, instead of a last-minute panic.
14. Cut it down! Don’t over-schedule your week and end up with no breathing space. You will either burn out or rebel against it. Maybe, like me, you’re trying to do WAY too much in your day. Reconsider and aim to chuck some of the tasks. Maybe three things can be done, but not 30.
15. Pottering time! We all need time to wander, mess about, waste time without apology. That way, there is space for serendipity and creative ideas or just catching our breath). So block that in too.
These should help, though they won’t always work. Try to give yourself a break when it doesn’t go perfectly. Our struggles with time are NOT because we’re lazy, stupid or irresponsible. It’s the way our brains are wired.
Oops, time to go.
Carol, August 2024