How things going wrong can turn out right
Growing up, I think I formed the idea that things should go right, things should go according to plan, I should be doing what I was told and I should be looking and acting more like other people, to be liked and acceptable. Things just should be a certain way. Recognise the feeling?
I can still be prone to that, but I’ve been learning late in life that things going wrong can sometimes have staggeringly good outcomes. My first marriage didn’t work out – but in the end it led to a very happy and sustained second marriage. That time off with burnout from a demanding job was caused by what I now know were menopause-aggravated ADHD symptoms. That led me to discover Procrastination Station, get some coaching through Access to Work, and end up in this incredibly fulfilling rule as an ADHD trainer and coach. The minor messes, mistakes and mishaps of my ADHD life have now been turned into blogs and cartoons – therapeutic for me and often relatable for others in our groups.
It’s not that I subscribe to the saying that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It’s not helpful to tell people that their present troubles will inevitably lead to something happier. But there are times when the rear-view mirror will show us that certain things work out for the best, if we don’t get completely derailed. We’re great improvisers.
Recently, the Royal Mile tour I’d booked for five of us (including three Canadian visitors) was cancelled at the last minute owing to the guide’s illness. I was very discombobulated – had to think on my feet. Then I remembered the fantastic wee nearby Museum of Magic, Fortune-Telling & Witchcraft (run by a former student of mine), the legendary People’s Story Museum down the Canongate, plus some random resuscitated stories from my long-ago walk-rounds with foreign language students. These saved the day. It was fun, personalised – maybe even better than the original plan. We’ve so many bits of gold dust and long-abandoned interests in our unfiltered brains. They can be brilliant for a time like this.
I’m told that the somewhat cluttered, untidy home I fret over has often made people feel, relaxed, welcome, cosy or just better about their own houses!
My multiple cooking and baking disasters have turned into anecdotes many ADHDers can relate to.
And stepping more honestly and less apologetically into my unique ADHDness has allowed me to lead courses, coaching and workshops from lived experience, where others can detect authenticity and build a sense of trust.
So – things going wrong can sometimes turn out to be the best possible thing. Sadly, I can’t tell you which ones will turn out that way! But maybe your rear-view ADHD mirror will show you a few stories of that kind – and you might feel quietly proud of that. Come and share your stories with us soon.
Carol Stobie
Co-Director, Procrastination Station CIC
June 2026
