I was thrilled to be asked to speak to Chris and Kyle on their fantastic ally honest, raw, Scottish based podcast: ADHD, A Different Human Dimension. It was a brilliant opportunity to tell how I got involved with Procrastination Station and what we offer. But I also blethered a bit about how neurodivergence affects my wider family – and listening to the playback thoughtfully provided before the final edit, I realised I hadn’t asked permission from those relatives!
They are much more private people than me, not prone to oversharing. So I had to ask for this to be edited out by the patient and brilliant Kyle, who was very nice about it!
If only we could always erase regrettable bits of conversations, eh? Like when I proclaimed strong political opinions that would definitely not go down well with the rest of the party, just recently. I’ll resist the temptation to broadcast those again. And that’s before we even start talking about social media, which terrifyingly captures our verbal indiscretions forever and can get us into a lot of trouble.
Our ADHD impulsivity can end up causing RSD, embarrassment, offence, hurt feelings, even exposing us or others to real risks. Sticking to overshare for now – what can we do about that? We compared notes in the Healthier Habits Peer Group, as always.
How to Resist Oversharing – our tips
- Practice Pressing Pause – yes, you can learn to hold on a moment before you speak, to ask more questions, resist talking over people. We find it goes down well to ask more questions before launching into a monologue about yourself… as long as the questions are not intrusive! Ask a trusted friend to provide feedback to help you with this.
- Select safe topics in advance! Maybe they don’t need to hear about your sex life or UTI.
- Can this person be trusted with your secrets? How do you know?
- Practise noticing how you’re feeling – in case you’re so agitated or overexcited that you share too much with random strangers. Use your best self-calming techniques before it gets worse!
- Meditation and mindfulness practices can definitely cool things down and help you exert more control over your oversharing tendencies.
- For some of us, our ADHD medication helps in managing this habit.
- Think – what situations have tended to lead to oversharing? Nerves? Filling silences? Trying to impress or amuse? Did you only realise it later? Think about what circumstances can make it happen and see if you can modify or avoid those. Alcohol is one well-known loosener of the tongue!
- Start observing other people’s small talk interactions and see what you can learn from them. Maybe compare notes with your partner or a friend.
- Get more succinct! Rambling on isn’t charming. HUGE challenge for rampant talkers and bloggers like me…
- Forgive yourself when you forget and do it again! We’re all learning.
And if you care to listen to the podcast conversation, here you go: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2CDb1daoBOS…
Carol, October 2024